IS THIS A JOKE? NO IT’S A ROAST! PHOTO ALBUM & MORE

I’ll let the terrific Eva Blue photos speak for themselves.

But in the meantime, here’s the quick back story.

A few years ago, Jay Farrar organized a one night TSN 690 charity event at Comedy Works. Everybody on our staff was asked to perform a five minute stand up set. And almost everybody did. Some were aided by alcohol, or something stronger. Others were aided by another person or two on stage. Once we announced it on the air it sold out almost immediately. The beneficiary, selected by Jay, was the Erin Sports Association, the good people behind the annual Irishman of the Year Breakfast. With a small roomful of listeners I’m sure we helped buy a few bottles of Jameson for that year’s breakfast.

It was a great night. Joey Elias was the MC – at least until he had to run back to CJAD because of some technical glitch with his radio show – Tony Marinaro started to take off his clothes; Noel Butler wore a t-shirt that proclaimed “I Am Not A Lesbian”; Jay took advantage of his one night status to remain on stage almost four times longer than anybody else, and I was was supposed to close it. But, as detective Harry Callahan once put it so well, “A man’s got to know his limitations”. So I got Derek Seguin to walk on to send everybody home feeling like they saw an actual pro comedian.

It was a unique and productive night of good will generated by the station, something I’m proud to acknowledge we’ve been good at, since we started in 2001. It was clear to me that it should have marked the beginning of a relatively low maintenance night of fun that we could have pulled off every year. But nobody grabbed the initiative. Other than Walter Lyng, who spent too many nights at the Bishop Street club that were not as productive. He let me know he’d like to help do something similar, even after he parted ways with the club. I had mentioned staging a similar night during a couple of staff meetings but it went nowhere. So the next time I brought it up I said I’d do it myself – through Billy Bob Productions – and expand on it.

The idea of a roast always intrigued me. I remember attending a drunken night of debauchery in the form of a roast for Montreal Alouettes bon vivant Chris Widger. Or, was it Chuck Zapaic? I don’t remember all the details. In fact, I clearly remember very little. Other than it was the 1980s and the old Alouettes media gang, led by Ted Blackman and Dick Bacon, were enjoying themselves a lot more than the people who attended.

I loved the old Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts on NBC-TV in the 70s. So I decided to move forward with that spirit in mind. And really, who else at TSN 690 could be roasted with more ferocity than Tony Marinaro? It was a perfect match. I just needed Tony to okay it. He did so almost instantly, although I’m not sure he thought we’d really turn it around as quickly as we did.

Thanks to Rubin Fogel, Arlene Slavin and everybody at Club Soda. Thanks to Sammy for showing up to inspire us the way he’s inspired Tony for years. I had mentioned to Tony that we were going to raise some money for his favourite charity and again without hesitation he explained why Cure SMA was so meaningful to him. Tony’s salute to Sammy and his family was a public unveiling of the real Tony. Especially for those who might have missed Stu Cowan’s piece in The Gazette. Thanks Stu.

Walter Lyng and Chris Venditto were both a driving force behind this. They did a lot more than perform on stage. They were a huge help behind the scenes.

Shane Murphy, as usual, did all the on site production grunt work, while leading his terrific band through a blistering opening set, before settling in to add some live intro music during the roast and to Tony’s grand finale. I’m hearing that Tony actually made a Bon Jovi fan out of Shane.

Derek Seguin willingly moved outside of his comfort zone, after his 20 minute solo set, to do something he had never done before. And we all laughed even more as a result. Some of us are still laughing.

Geoff Molson and Pierre McGuire were kind enough to tape messages that were played on the big screen. It was very cool to have Tony’s two long time co-hosts, Joey Elias and PJ Stock on hand after all, when it appeared that scheduling conflicts would keep both of them away. And Denis Coderre walking on as a member of the Expos during Rodger Brulotte’s wrap up – with Stephen Bronfman and Mitch Garber sitting together in front of the stage – was a hoot (he was even heckled which, considering the setting was not very cool) and more than a little symbolic.

Leonard Yelle once again printed the Kesh Dheer-designed posters and postcards and juggled his busy schedule to slap some of them on unsuspecting storefronts.

Ken Doran raised nearly 3,000 dollars with his Charity Promotions grid. Thanks as well to Jennifer Hawes and everybody who helped out with the cool prizes including McKibbins, Mirela’s, Hurley’s, Vago, Un Autre Restaurant and Jack Maggiore of Cook & Date. Mirela’s and Un Autre also spoiled us backstage with an incredible spread of food.

Kelsey and Sam Brunette worked the guest list table. And thanks always to their incredible mom Allyson Rennie.

We like to have fun at Billy Bob Productions. I hope that’s clear by now. Thank you for continuing to show up in large numbers as we continue to expose mostly local talent to the kind of appreciative crowds they all deserve.

See you again in a couple of smaller venues in November. We’ve got something very big percolating for December 2019.

THE BAND

Shane Murphy – Electric guitar & vocals

Alec McElcheran – Bass & vocals

Antoine Gratton – Keyboard & vocals

Marky Beats – Drums & vocals

Tony Lombardi – Drums, bass & vocals

Tony Marinaro – Vocals

DEREK SEGUIN – MC & Roast Master

ROASTERS

Jeremy Filosa, Freeway Frank, Patrick Leduc, Noel Butler (Live intro by band “London Calling”)

Jessica Rusnak:

For those of you who don’t know me, I worked with Tony for many years at TSN 690 going back

to the TEAM 990 days, or as Tony refers to them, his “peak athletic years”. I quickly realized

that if i was gonna have a career in this industry, i needed to stay as far away from these type of

delusional people as possible.

Now to be fair, I’ve had plenty of great moments with Tony. I just couldn’t remember any of them

for tonight, however i do have some horrific memories i can share.

One morning,  Tony was walking around the office in pain, a type of pain that seemed, from his

reaction, akin to the after effects of a sunday at Lambeau in January.  I tried my best to ignore

his whiny, obnoxious, “man cold esque” behaviour but I eventually broke and I made the

mistake of asking him what was wrong.

He goes on to explain that he was playing soccer with his sons and he went to kick the ball but

missed, naturally, and fell ass first right on top of the ball.

This whole situation seemed like something out of a Charlie Brown episode, and I think

highlights why “Tony Marinaro” and “Athlete”  go together as well peanut butter and sardines.

Which he’s actually brought in for lunch quite a few times. Something about the keto diet.

This next part is where the story takes a turn from Charlie Brown to Louis CK. Because he pulls

down his pants and shows me his bare ass, right there at 9AM on a fucking wednesday! If only

the “ Me Too” movement had been around back then, i could have been spared the years of

seeing his bare ass whenever i close my eyes. (Visibly look shaken).

And as you can imagine his ass not only was it bruised but it was also very hairy. Which is

interesting because, Tony had his facial hair laser removed  because he could never grow a

beard, and was seemingly too cheap to get the hamburger meat off his bum.

Since the soccer incident I think Tony learnt his lesson. Not about showing women he works

with his ass but about trying to keep up with his sons in ANYTHING.

Now a days Tony stays in shape by spending 4 hours a day on air talking about his p90X

regime and then by posting his 3 minute workout on social media. Which i gather, sparks the

same reaction as spending a night with Tony does….”oh that’s it?”

Robyn Flynn (“Cherry Bomb”)

The easy target with Tony is obviously to make fun of his weight… but then I realized… that would sort of be like the pot calling the kettle fat… So I decided to go in another direction.

I first heard Tony on the air when I was working nights at a gas station, and woke up late in the morning to the sound of his voice. Trust me, if you have to wake up to one sound, Tony’s voice shouldn’t be it.

The sound of Tony Marinaro’s voice has quite the effect, and is suspected as being directly responsible for the alarming infertility rates in our listening area. Women have been known to suffer from reduced sex drive upon hearing’s Tony’s voice. Good luck trying to get your girl to go down on you with The Montreal Forum on in the background, gents.

And it’s not just women! Men are inclined to notice their morning wood shrink from a rock hard rigatoni to a limp linguini sticking to their thigh. Tony has deflated more balls than Tom Brady. I guess the only thing Tony has going for him is that he’s reduced how often these guys have to wash their sheets.

3 out of the 4 women who have worked at TSN 690 are here tonight. It’s funny, after working with Tony, Andie, Jess and I all left for other radio stations. Amanda is the only one who had to leave the country. I guess those rumours were true!

I’ve had the misfortune of working with Tony several times over the years. I remember him falling asleep once when he was filling in on the Morning Show. Don’t worry, Tony. Soccer puts me to sleep, too.

Tony’s also the only guy I know who spends more time schmoozing with the other people in the press box than he does actually watching the games. As is evident by his analysis.

Tony once had me call a children’s hospital in Boston the day after a Bruins-Habs game to see if Brad Marchand had come in the night before for being unable to stop crying. Live. On the air. Think of how many kids were left untreated by this stunt? Joke’s on you though, Tony. They all live in Montreal now, and they carry PPM devices.

Also, did you know Tony has two kids? I know, you wouldn’t know it from social media. It’s as though Anthony is an only child. Tony takes Anthony to Italy to try out for soccer camps, is at every one of his games, picks him up from school every day. Can we get a wellness check on Marco? Marco? Marco? Does this kid not like soccer, or something? Does that explain why Anthony got an Xbox for Christmas, but Marco is stuck in the garden shed playing Pong on Atari?

All jokes aside, Tony is a really great guy. Congrats on 15 years at TSN 690, Tony!

Peter Yannopoulos, Mitch Gallo (“Welcome to the Jungle”), Walter Lyng (Interrupted by The Green Phantom),

Sean Campbell (“Highway to Hell”):

I’d like to thank Mitch Melnick for inviting me tonight….he sent an email this week, asking us to keep our comments to 2-3 minutes…which is appropriate because that’s about how long I can listen to Tony’s show before I want to blow my f-ing brains out.

What is it with the Italians who call Tony’s show? Why do you have to say his name 75 times?? It goes like this: ‘Let’s go to the phone lines….it’s Guido in Laval! Hi, Guido.”

(Guido):  ‘Hey Tony…the problem with the Canadiens Tony is that Carey Tony Price Tony doesn’t have his Tony head in the Tony game Tony….’  (Me) “STOP! Stop saying his f-ing name! We know his name! He knows his name…his initials are monogrammed on his track suit, FFS! Every time you say his name he gets half an erection and the back of his sweat pants get tight….Speaking of his track suit, I remember my first day at 690. I walked in and I see this guy with a blue track suit and the initials ‘T.M’ monogrammed on the jacket. “That’s interesting,” I thought. I went in to speak to my new boss and asked “if I come to work a shift here at the studio, do I have to wear MY monogrammed track suit?” He smiled and said “I see you’ve met Tony.”

The problem with Tony wearing that track suit or sweatpants is that you can always see about 4” of f-ing ass crack. The ‘vertical smile’.  If you work with Tony for one hour, you see more crack than Whitney Houston did in the last year of her life.

I came to work one day and Tony had these Blue Blocker sunglasses on. I asked Sean Campbell: ‘what the f— is with Ray Charles over there?’ Sean said he has a concussion. He got hit in the head with a soccer ball.’  I figured the concussion might last a week…..I came in like a year later and he’s still wearing them. Princess Diana didn’t suffer that much head trauma when she went into the tunnel with Dodi el Fayed, FFS!”

That’s my three minutes, Tony. You’re a good man…one of a kind. Thank Christ for that.

Andie Bennett:

Tony has a very unique broadcast style and by that I mean he struggles with basic English sentence structure.

Admittedly he never finished his degree at the Lasalle school of journalism. It was night courses. Come on Tony.

Tony pauses so much that listeners have to change the station to make sure 690 didn’t go off air. A lot of times they’ll settle for the Beat instead. Sorry Bell.

So as a tribute to Tony [PAUSE] tonight [PAUSE] I have two minutes [PAUSE] worth of material about Tony [PAUSE] that I will stretch out [PAUSE] over ten minutes. (Sigh )

Tony is also the master of sponsorships. He shills so much he’s like the broadcast equivalent of a KHL jersey.

Tony has the gall to to sell you a diet juice plan in the same break where he tells you about the seasonal specials at “Enoteca Monza Pizzeria Moderna” good business? Sure. conflicting message? Absolutely.

It’s been a rough few years for Tony. You may have heard about the concussion he sustained. What you may not know is he got that concussion when a vending machine fell on him at the arena. This is what happens when Tony gets “hangry.”

He has all these headaches and sensitivities to light which is ironic because even though Tony doesn’t drink, he comes in most mornings like he’s hungover.

The first time I saw Tony wearing dark glasses and ear protection in the press box, I just assumed he was trying to ignore his colleagues. I would too.

It took them a month and a half to diagnose Tony with a concussion, which is SHOCKING, because I’ve known Tony for 12 years and I haven’t noticed ANY brain activity at all!

But we’re not here tonight to downplay the severity of concussions. Afterall, why try to do what the NHL does best.

Having said that, I definitely think Tony’s brain should be donated to science. They need abnormal samples after all.

Knuckles Nilan, Francois Gagnon (“Hot Blooded”),

Jay Farrar (“Bring the Pain”):

Good evening! And thanks for pretending to know who I am.

Robyn Flynn scored a TKO

Mitch Gallo was pillow-like in his approach

Comedian/writer Walter Lyng

The Green Phantom “replaced” Walter Lyng

Sean Campbell makes Dan Robertson cry

So great to see Andie Bennett again

Knuckles takes center stage

A poetic Francois Gagnon of RDS

Rodger Brulotte

Former mayor Denis Coderre arrived ready to play ball and with a box of conolies

Mitch looking for former TSN 690 GM Wayne Bews

Robyn Flynn and PJ Stock react to Tony’s Dominatrix

Before PJ Stock, Tony’s first on air partner was Joey Elias who was a late surprise

Tony’s long lost half brother from Sicily - Guido Marinaro (Comedian/writer Chris Venditto)

Tony as Jon Bon Jovi

Living on a Prayer

Oh no! It’s Peter from Côte St. Luc

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Here are the rest of the photos, enjoy!

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Here is yet another batch of photos from Shane’s friend Steve Walsh, many of which came directly from the Club Soda stage –

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😂 Tony’s epic dance from the “Live with Kelly and Ryan” show.

Lookout for a special behind the scenes video of the roast. Stay tuned!